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Being diagnosed with breast cancer may bring up a wide range of emotions--stress, denial, guilt, fear, and anxiety, or feeling like you've lost control. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up, and considering leaning on your support network.
Support can mean many different things, but it usually involves staying connected to others. Family and friends can help, as well as the people you meet in support programs, or through work, hobbies, or leisure activities. You might connect with others through your spirituality or faith. All of these people can listen to your concerns and share experiences.

Professionals can also be a vital source of support. They can help you learn more about breast cancer, about treatment options, and what to expect. The important thing is to try not to go through this experience all alone.
Control
Some young adults diagnosed with breast cancer feel a loss of control over their lives. Some feel overwhelmed by all the decisions they have to make. This is normal. Knowing what to expect is key to staying in control. Learn as much as you can (or as much as you want to) about breast cancer, and learn how to advocate for yourself. In addition:
  • Try building an honest, open relationship with your doctor. Ask about clinical trials, treatment options, and potential side effects. Working as a team may help you trust each other. While doctors make treatment recommendations, decisions will be made together.
  • Remember that you can work with your doctor to include other professionals in your team. You may want to involve social workers or counselors who can listen and lend a shoulder. They can teach you to manage breast cancer issues and to cope with your feelings.
  • Set your own pace when it comes to your daily life activities. Some young adults may find stability in going to work every day or by keeping their daily routine as normal as possible. Some days you might be able to manage household chores, errands, grocery shopping, or childcare just fine, and other days may be more difficult. However, if these things get tougher over time, consider asking for help!

Concerns about side effects 
The goal of breast cancer treatment is to offer you the best possible chance of long-term health. However, treatments often have side effects, and each person experiences them a little differently. Some side effects come and go quickly, while others last longer.

Your clinical care team will review the risks and benefits of recommended treatments in detail. Talk with them about your concerns and how to manage the side effects that worry you the most. Treatment often causes short-term symptoms and can (rarely) cause serious problems. The benefits of treatment usually far outweigh the risks.

Grief and loss
Breast cancer and its treatment can change your body and your life in ways that may make you angry or sad. You may need time to grieve the losses you're experiencing and accept them. It is important to recognize your feelings and get the help and support you need. Speaking with your provider and/or a mental health professional (e.g., social worker, therapist, or psychiatrist), outside your breast cancer care team, can help you through these difficult times. Read more about emotions after treatment. 

Silver linings
Being diagnosed with breast cancer can be a devastating experience for some young adults, especially in the beginning. Over time, however, things will calm down, and you will move forward and likely feel much better. Some people even find that positive things come from their experience.

Many survivors say that, in time, their diagnosis has given them a new appreciation for life or courage to make changes they might not otherwise have made. Some say support networks have had a profound impact on them. Some make new friendships, rekindle old ones, and find unexpected inner strength. Many survivors even channel their positive energy to help others cope with breast cancer.
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Asking for help
Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it and accept it when it's offered. Just be sure you're saying yes because it will really help you, not because it will make the helper feel better. If family and friends want to help, let them. They can pitch in with errands, housework, meals, and childcare. If you usually work through things by yourself, think about expanding your circle.

Through this whole process, consider looking for opportunities to express your feelings and share the weight of your diagnosis with others going through the same thing. Most people find this essential. Websites and online discussion groups can be helpful, but try not to read too much. There's a lot of inaccurate and misleading information out there. Go to trusted sites, like those created by hospitals and breast cancer research organizations, and only read what's helpful to you!
Try being specific about what you need. For example:
  • Instead of saying, "Can you come with me to some doctors' appointments?" consider saying, "I have appointments every other Tuesday at 10. Which Tuesdays work for you?"
  • Let a friend set up a schedule for meals, dog walking, etc. (Visit Lotsa Helping Hands for ideas and tools.)
  • Tell people about specific days when they could cook or bring in meals for you.
  • Ask a close relative or friend who lives nearby to pick up your child from school on specific days when you have medical appointments.
Many young adults with breast cancer struggle to keep caring well-wishers informed about their cancer journey. CaringBridge offers free, easy, private websites where you can schedule assistance from people who care, and stay in touch with everyone from a central location.  Another option is Ionacare, a mobile platform created by a team of caregivers, supporters, patients, and medical professionals to help you to coordinate practical support, communicate updates, and ensure that you are not alone.  
​For additional information on the various resources available to help you cope with your diagnosis, please visit our Building Your Network of Support, Finding Community, and Clinical Sites and Services pages. Please contact the Young and Strong Program Team (youngandstrong@partners.org) if you have any questions. ​